Thursday, March 08, 2012

Negotiate... with femininity

The purpose of International Women's day confusesme a bit. In general those days are created in order to appreciate and / or raise awareness about an entity, a form, an existence, a function and what not. Is it about equality? Should that be the case, well personally I am against absolute equality, I believe men and women are different and they should celebrate it.

Hire me, not because I have boobs, but because I am qualified & competent
Listen, hire me not because I look cute and I post sexy profile pictures on my facebook, hire me because I qualify for the job vacancy you posted. 

Hire me not because I am a female and we have been oppressed all our lives so it's time to take charge of things and you want to "help" balance things. No! Hire me because I am more qualified than the guy beside me, if he's more qualified, hire him.

It's chivalry, but I don't mind opening the door for you either
Look, open the door for me, not because I cannot open it, but because it's chivalry. I pass in front of you because I want to still give you that small cute thing that makes life un-robotlike. But don't open the door for me for a job we both applied for.

You see, I am not always a princess, I open the door to men if I get there before them. No biggie. I just happened to be there first, so why not. But I will apply to that job with all my strength and intelligence, and let the better person win.

Everybody makes mistakes, everybody succeeds
But also, if I ever make a mistake at work, it's not because I am a woman, you see when you succeed, I don't say it's because you're a man. Or at least I shouldn't.

Don't fall for the trap
Some women became aggressive about standing their ground, but it's because sometimes men don't make it easy on us. My tip is, don't fall for it. Thus when a guy tells you that your place is in the kitchen (whether he's joking or not), just laugh. If he's serious, drop it. If he's joking, why give him the pleasure of teasing you?

Don't beg, don't settle. Just make it happen
If you want your place in society, don't beg for it, don't make an extra effort just because you're a woman, if you want equality, just act equal. And everything else will fall in place... with time.

Another lesson I learned is don't settle; negotiate, all with femininity. you need to harden your tone, you don't need to raise your voice, you don't need to frown, but instead, offer valid arguments.

Women are known to be emotional, I know I am, I cry during sitcoms... but this shouldn't stop women from being objective, strong and fair.

If we ask for these, then we should be these. We should stop asking others to make it easy on us. We just make it.


  1. I think you meant "femininity", not feminism. As in womanliness, not the women's rights movement..

    1. Fadi, 1 I know the difference LOL, 2 akid I meant femininity. Thanks for pointing it out. Corrected.

  2. I love this post, very good points. If you want to be respected, act with respect... and maybe with time the way a woman is perceived will change.
    We need change on so many levels, from the way we educate our children on women's roles, to our degrading laws...
    Happy International women's day Lil, women like you make a great difference.

    1. Education is a big part, BIG part. Starting with out own mothers. Long way indeed.

      Happy day to you too, and you too hehe

  3. If there's one thing I would add, although I feel the message is already in the post but hey never hurts to highlight it, it would be this:

    If you're a woman and you want to have the same rights granted to a man in your society, starting off by dressing like a man and acting like man, essentially becoming the closest thing to a man you could be, is one of the biggest betrayals to your gender you could engage in. You're a woman, earn your rights as one.

    Cheers !

  4. J'aime tes mots, et j'admire ton combat au quotidien!!! Tes maux font battre mon coeur, et marcher pres de toi me fais plaisir!!!
    Happy international women's Day Lil...

    1. Your comment = goosebumps :) Thank you w happy day to you too!

  5. You should listen to just be a woman song :), it correlates with what you say. Good luck on your journey :)