Thursday, April 21, 2011

How to organize a wedding with funk

Weddings in Lebanon are becoming a Production (Hat tip to Beirut drive by for this description). If you don't know this yet, I am so sorry that you live underwater, inside a mountain that is inside a cave that is underwater...

Okay, this is coming from the 30 year old single lady, who many might describe me as the bitter old maid (according to Lebanese tante standards).

First, this is a small recap on why I am not married yet (this is an older post, I was younger):

I am still single, I am 29 years old, the reason why I am not married (answering the people who look at me with pity in their eyes 'cause am still single) is (pick your favorite):
- I am just butt ugly
- I burp and fart and that ain't lady like!
- I am a lesbian
- I nag too much that nobody wants to marry me
- I can't have children
- I am abnormal
- I am so f*ckin' stupid and boring, even zuzu ibba doesn't wanna marry me
- Nobody ever proposed
- Nobody loves me
- I am too smart and too pretty and too sexy that many men feel intimidated by me and can't handle me.
- I was waiting for you all my life.
- In reality the guy I love died, a dragon came and bit his head off

Back to the Production. 
For me, there is a huge difference between "wedding" and "marriage". More and more things are becoming super - ficial. Yes, it's not only "ficial", it's superficial! I no longer sense the genuine intentions in the couple's desire to spend the rest of their lives together. Fine, a nice dinner, dancing dabke and enjoying a night with friends and family is really something to look forward to. But what makes me go "BLEH", is the bubbles!

What's with the bubble machine? the smog machine? the lights? the over-priced flowers? camera men (gazillions of them)? the zaffe? then the exotic white group that plays on tam tam, and the special salsa dance, then tango dance, and now bride or groom sing to the other (now that's cool if they have a nice voice), and then there is their special dance, and then the camera man tells them when to look at the cam, when to go in, when to smile, when to go crazy... 

The one that drives me the most nuts, is having the camera over at the bride's house: "Msikeh el champagne, w brome wirrebeh shwey sawbe, btisme, w 3mileh bi 3ayke heik O.o" etc... Yes, we all want to look back at this beautiful white day and see a nice photo of ourselves, but some things are getting blown so out of proportion it is just getting too tacky, too fake, and so unreal.

Anyway, this is dedicated to all those couples getting married this summer, if you are my friends, sorry you're going through this, and if you don't invite me to your wedding, I will ... be so sad.

... = not

p.s. this is all okay I guess when you can afford it :) what sucks is, couples are taking loans for this. Meh, right?


  1. Hahahahahaha - I will go with, you are too busy with you 100+ blogs ;)

    But you are right, it is becoming to over done that it actually loses its meaning. Me, I want a civil marriage - no weddings thanks.

  2. yasmine, lol I should add that reason! spot on haha

    Agreed about civil marriage! same here :)

  3. hmmmmmm....remind me to share my wedding story...